Save the war stories

2012 Seth smoky mountains Jan 2

Avid primitive backpacker gets to teach his honey all things outdoors…becomes more civilized and loves every moment.

Come share our adventure!

My wife really does enjoy going on adventures with me…honest! 

Here is the numero uno don’t – don’t tell hiking war stories—especially the ones about snakes. War stories are for the guys who love overcoming raw nature like you do. You can share your coldest most painful adventure with them…your worst time in the rain…the long distances and fatigue…the time it took an hour and a half to get a fire started…don’t brag to her about those things.

It is no small wonder however, because I did talk the wrong talk.

We were with another couple around a patio fire and I started telling stories. I proudly told about the time I slept under the stars by the fire when in was 13 degrees and the snow was falling on my face. I told about the time it was 20 degrees and I fell in up to my chest in ice cold water at a creek crossing. Sloshing up on the trail, I had to take off all my clothes, wring them out and put them back on. I laughed about standing there wet and naked. It was funny and one of the most painful experiences of my life.

2013 Asphalt heart June

When the laughter died down she shared how impressed she was with my toughness in the cold but that she did not want to go with me.  My heart broke like dried out asphalt— I had stuck my foot in my mouth. I wouldn’t have asked her to go on harsh and primitive adventures (unless she wanted to go) but I had made it all look ugly and painful. They were great adventure stories but they did little to attract her to what most adventure are: fun and beautiful.

I suppose that she gained some sense of security by knowing that I could take a punch or two from mother nature and still have fun. Perhaps she knew by the stories that I could be counted on in a crises if she needed me. But I had some work to do to over come those stories to get her out there.

So, guys, save the war stories!

Share them sparingly during a very brief but meaningful conversation about safety and security. We don’t want to deceive to entice but there is no point in focusing on the painful stuff. She will be drawn to what you use your words to paint beautifully.

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